you have put into words what i've been feeling for almost 2 years now. in the past year ive gotten better at setting and enforcing my boundaries in most areas of my life. but i still struggle with the ramifications of a relationship i was in at the end of 2022. part of that has been because of my struggle to identify and put into words what i was experiencing at the time, and how it has affected me since then. reading this honestly brought me to tears. thank you for sharing this <3
This is a beautiful piece, and if I may share something tangentially related: this might hit especially hard for autistic women. The nature of coercion is that along with the trauma of sexual abuse, the resentment (or any reaction that replaces the reward if/when you deny an abuser what they’re asking for) can be a harsh trigger for the trauma of survivors of neglect. Disabled children often experience a lot of emotional neglect in their school life as well as their home life, and that kind of thing doesn’t disappear overnight when you grow up, as much as I wish it did. These things together usually "catch up to you" in the form of C-PTSD symptoms becoming harder to deal with in your teens and early adult life, and during that time is the best possible opportunity to learn the value of your voice and your agency and your worth separate from anyone else. I'm so so happy for you to be learning all these things and sharing them freely for other people to see and feel it all with you. I really hope your healing gets easier and easier as time goes on, and I hope you are able to share more of your journey with others whenever you want to.
I'm glad you are learning and working on saying no. It is really hard to do that. Even harder to recognize that you are always saying yes and that it is a problem. <3
Beautifully written!! This has been one of the hardest lessons of my adult life, one that I'm constantly relearning. 🩷
This was beautiful, raw and relatable. Thank you!
you have put into words what i've been feeling for almost 2 years now. in the past year ive gotten better at setting and enforcing my boundaries in most areas of my life. but i still struggle with the ramifications of a relationship i was in at the end of 2022. part of that has been because of my struggle to identify and put into words what i was experiencing at the time, and how it has affected me since then. reading this honestly brought me to tears. thank you for sharing this <3
thank you for writing this 💕
This is a beautiful piece, and if I may share something tangentially related: this might hit especially hard for autistic women. The nature of coercion is that along with the trauma of sexual abuse, the resentment (or any reaction that replaces the reward if/when you deny an abuser what they’re asking for) can be a harsh trigger for the trauma of survivors of neglect. Disabled children often experience a lot of emotional neglect in their school life as well as their home life, and that kind of thing doesn’t disappear overnight when you grow up, as much as I wish it did. These things together usually "catch up to you" in the form of C-PTSD symptoms becoming harder to deal with in your teens and early adult life, and during that time is the best possible opportunity to learn the value of your voice and your agency and your worth separate from anyone else. I'm so so happy for you to be learning all these things and sharing them freely for other people to see and feel it all with you. I really hope your healing gets easier and easier as time goes on, and I hope you are able to share more of your journey with others whenever you want to.
I'm glad you are learning and working on saying no. It is really hard to do that. Even harder to recognize that you are always saying yes and that it is a problem. <3