I was in relationship after relationship until about 7 years ago when I decided to be single for myself. I took myself to movies and anywhere that made my heart happy. I let myself be a flirt but made sure my intentions were set and followed and I blossomed. I started listening to my body and my heart. When the world was silent I was singing. I took my time and while my journey was longer than expected it was worth every second. I learned how to accept admiration and I cherished my moments alone. I was ready to date a few years later and could vocalize how I wanted to be loved and I could see my self worth growing. I downloaded dating apps and I listened to my heart. I finally started talking to someone about three years ago after crushing for a long time because I was really ready. I knew myself I knew my worth and it showed! Oswin and I have our anniversary coming up this Wednesday, we are engaged and beyond happy! Everyone’s journey is different but everyone needs self love in their life, it truly does wonders. I’m so happy your journey is beginning and no matter if it’s months or years I believe you will know when you’re ready and the universe will reward you for learning more about yourself and taking time to enjoy the world through your own eyes! I can’t wait to read more of your journey that you’re willing to share! 💚💚💚
This feels like a page out of my diary from three years ago, and it resonates so deeply with where I'm at now (still single! sometimes happily, sometimes not, it's just a cycle of emotions for me). Wishing you luck on your journey to slow down, the urgency can be so real and strangling. 🫂 you've got this!!
It was a great read, I hope you are successful in staying single. I know that the year I did it on purpose really helped me learn about myself and I'm now engaged to a wonderful human who is obsessed with me.
Thank you for being so vulnerable about something like this. I think it can be really hard for most people to acknowledge their attachment style and understand how it can impact others. It also reminds me that social media shows the “good parts” but we are all humans dealing with our own insecurities and trauma.
This is really good! I think being honest about the work your doing to better yourself is part of the reason your such a huge inspiration, I really enjoyed the over all tone and detail. A lot of influencers will say “love yourself frist” without any further explanation as to how to get there. I enjoy that your essay brings light to what steps you are taking to correct some habits you’ve recognized in yourself and is honest about the difficulties of trying to break patterns like this. Overall I think it’s very relatable and is written in a way that even if someone doesn’t experience this situation directly they can still walk away with a more accurate understanding of what it means to work on yourself. I give it a 10/10 mustached bisexuals
What a great goal! We’ve been socialized to believe that our value and safety comes from being in relationship to a man, that our wedding is the highlight of our life. Spoiler: they’re not! Enjoy your solo time.
I’m not great at being single but I’m not bad at dating myself. Still trying to figure out how to not pedestalize romance over other loves. Congrats on your breakup
Aghhh I’m also going through a recent breakup right now and this is too real of a feeling :’). Hoping to take a page out of your book though and *try* to learn to love myself before others, and prioritize my other close relationships because seriously kudos to you for recognizing your patterns and wanting to change them ❤️ Best of luck to you in continuing this journey, and always know your feelings are valid and that it’s okay if it’s not a totally linear journey. Off-days are okay and understandable, and just recognize what you feel is best for you in the moment you need it :)
Thank you so much for writing this! Honestly, I feel the exact same and have never heard it being expressed as well as what I just read! Thank you for allowing me to feel seen and heard
this essay is a godsend, i just got broken up with recently and i’m trying to date myself but it’s been so hard to lay off dating apps and seeing everyone online being in a relationship doesn’t help either. i keep matching with ppl, having a conversation or two and then nothing 😭😭 and i don’t even think i really want to be in a relationship right now but i’m lonely??? it sucks but this makes me believe that i’m not alone in this and i can get through this.
I relate to everything you're experiencing right now (apart from men🙃). Gemini, broken up with a partner a few weeks ago, wanting to stay single, same attachment style. Your text is beautiful and validating! Thank you✨️
I feel there is so much subliminal messaging sent towards women about how important is it to find that partner, to start creating a family unit. The 20s is all about urgent. Almost all things feel urgent. Finding the right partner, getting through school, finding that right job all to do the proper grown up thing. Mid 30s you begin to realize there is no one way to do things. Some go back to college after having children. Some don't wed until late in life. No one path is wrong or right. I would strongly suggest that during this time, take the time to further dive into your attachment style and truly sitting with the hard feelings that make surface during that time. Be honest with those feelings no matter how uncomfortable they make you. If you haven't found a good therapist yet I would highly recommend that.
I was in relationship after relationship until about 7 years ago when I decided to be single for myself. I took myself to movies and anywhere that made my heart happy. I let myself be a flirt but made sure my intentions were set and followed and I blossomed. I started listening to my body and my heart. When the world was silent I was singing. I took my time and while my journey was longer than expected it was worth every second. I learned how to accept admiration and I cherished my moments alone. I was ready to date a few years later and could vocalize how I wanted to be loved and I could see my self worth growing. I downloaded dating apps and I listened to my heart. I finally started talking to someone about three years ago after crushing for a long time because I was really ready. I knew myself I knew my worth and it showed! Oswin and I have our anniversary coming up this Wednesday, we are engaged and beyond happy! Everyone’s journey is different but everyone needs self love in their life, it truly does wonders. I’m so happy your journey is beginning and no matter if it’s months or years I believe you will know when you’re ready and the universe will reward you for learning more about yourself and taking time to enjoy the world through your own eyes! I can’t wait to read more of your journey that you’re willing to share! 💚💚💚
Please know that this made me cry <3
I’m glad I could return the favor 🥲 your content is so meaningful to me and I can’t wait to see you blossom 🥰
This feels like a page out of my diary from three years ago, and it resonates so deeply with where I'm at now (still single! sometimes happily, sometimes not, it's just a cycle of emotions for me). Wishing you luck on your journey to slow down, the urgency can be so real and strangling. 🫂 you've got this!!
It was a great read, I hope you are successful in staying single. I know that the year I did it on purpose really helped me learn about myself and I'm now engaged to a wonderful human who is obsessed with me.
Thank you for being so vulnerable about something like this. I think it can be really hard for most people to acknowledge their attachment style and understand how it can impact others. It also reminds me that social media shows the “good parts” but we are all humans dealing with our own insecurities and trauma.
This is really good! I think being honest about the work your doing to better yourself is part of the reason your such a huge inspiration, I really enjoyed the over all tone and detail. A lot of influencers will say “love yourself frist” without any further explanation as to how to get there. I enjoy that your essay brings light to what steps you are taking to correct some habits you’ve recognized in yourself and is honest about the difficulties of trying to break patterns like this. Overall I think it’s very relatable and is written in a way that even if someone doesn’t experience this situation directly they can still walk away with a more accurate understanding of what it means to work on yourself. I give it a 10/10 mustached bisexuals
What a great goal! We’ve been socialized to believe that our value and safety comes from being in relationship to a man, that our wedding is the highlight of our life. Spoiler: they’re not! Enjoy your solo time.
Such a relatable read even as someone in different shoes - the urgency you describe is something well-known to most! Thank you for sharing beaut! 🎀
I’m not great at being single but I’m not bad at dating myself. Still trying to figure out how to not pedestalize romance over other loves. Congrats on your breakup
Aghhh I’m also going through a recent breakup right now and this is too real of a feeling :’). Hoping to take a page out of your book though and *try* to learn to love myself before others, and prioritize my other close relationships because seriously kudos to you for recognizing your patterns and wanting to change them ❤️ Best of luck to you in continuing this journey, and always know your feelings are valid and that it’s okay if it’s not a totally linear journey. Off-days are okay and understandable, and just recognize what you feel is best for you in the moment you need it :)
Thank you so much for writing this! Honestly, I feel the exact same and have never heard it being expressed as well as what I just read! Thank you for allowing me to feel seen and heard
This was a fantastic read! I relate to this hard core. We got this!!
Brye this was a lovely read
i love your wordsss
this essay is a godsend, i just got broken up with recently and i’m trying to date myself but it’s been so hard to lay off dating apps and seeing everyone online being in a relationship doesn’t help either. i keep matching with ppl, having a conversation or two and then nothing 😭😭 and i don’t even think i really want to be in a relationship right now but i’m lonely??? it sucks but this makes me believe that i’m not alone in this and i can get through this.
I relate to everything you're experiencing right now (apart from men🙃). Gemini, broken up with a partner a few weeks ago, wanting to stay single, same attachment style. Your text is beautiful and validating! Thank you✨️
I feel there is so much subliminal messaging sent towards women about how important is it to find that partner, to start creating a family unit. The 20s is all about urgent. Almost all things feel urgent. Finding the right partner, getting through school, finding that right job all to do the proper grown up thing. Mid 30s you begin to realize there is no one way to do things. Some go back to college after having children. Some don't wed until late in life. No one path is wrong or right. I would strongly suggest that during this time, take the time to further dive into your attachment style and truly sitting with the hard feelings that make surface during that time. Be honest with those feelings no matter how uncomfortable they make you. If you haven't found a good therapist yet I would highly recommend that.